Green Light

Okay, so I had my post-op appointment today, and the dr has given T and I the green light to start back ttc! YIPPPPPPEEEEE! I am so excited! I do not ovulate until the 1st week of March, so we have a few weeks before we go back to the marathon bedding (hee hee). But, it has been about three weeks since we bd, so we are both oh so ready. The dr said the polyp is completely gone, and it was not cancerous! Thank God! He also said he is sure this is why I had not gotten preg yet. He said he is sure it will happen within the next few months for us! YEAH! The thingamajig in my uterine wall is not a cyst, but some fatty tissue. Dr does not know the cause, but said it is not a problem and definitely should not stop us from conceiving or carrying a baby to full term! Today is a great day! I was beginning to hate going to my obgyn b/c the last few times, I left out with bad news. However, today they have redeemed themselves! SO, we are officially on the road again, and I know I will have that BFP really soon!

Let It Go...

This is what I keep telling myself, but the irritation/anger/sadness/frustration still lingers. I love what I do (I am an elementary school counselor), but I HATE the environment I work in. This is so mainly because of my administration. I could go on and on about the many reasons why I hate it, but today the top reason is they are a bunch of nosey ladies with nothing much to do but talk about, and wish for the worse for others (my opinion). So, DH and I have been ttc for 10 months, and I told everyone when we first started trying (something I am kicking myself for now, as I am so tired of everyone asking me questions about it). Well, I recently had to have surgery to have a uterine polyp removed, which is probably the reason why I have not conceived yet. They all knew I had surgery (there is a group of like 5 women), but they do not not what type of surgery or the reason, etc. I only told my direct boss I was having surgery, but somehow all of them found out. No one came to ask how I was doing, as most people who are genuinely concerned do. No, instead they have been trying to figure out what type of surgery I had. Then, today, my AP calls me and says, "I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?", as if she did not already know I was out for surgery. After I told her I was out for surgery, she asked, "what for?", then proceeded to say, "I am just being nosey. What are you trying to get pregnant?". The nerve of her! I was furious! I would feel differently if I felt like her questions were of genuine concern. But, I know they are not. I know she just wanted this information to pass on to their little clique. What type of people get satisfaction from learning of other people's trials and pain? GRRRRRRRRRR. I do not think they are wishing I do not get pregnant, I just feel they get some type of satisfaction in knowing it is taking me so long, and that it has been a struggle for me. This makes me so sad, as well as very angry! I am trying to let it go, and I am sure I will shortly. However, for now, I am MAD! I am mad at all ot them. I am irritated that I have to work in this type of environment. I am frustrated that this journey has taken so long. I am annoyed that everyone seems to be getting pregnant but me. I am ashamed because I feel like I am a failure to womanhood. Today is a not so good ttc day. I know this will pass, but for today.....this is where I am!

Little Things

Who would have ever thought the sight of eggwhite cm would excite me! I thank God for the little things that bring me joy, and today that little thing is eggwhite cm! I have had it during the latter months of our ttc journey, but usually I have taken Evening Primose Oil to help it along. Well, I haven't taken anything as I am healing from surgery. I am still spotting a little also. However, every time I wipe, I have loads of ewcm! YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!! I guess I am excited because it is a reminder of my fertility! That is such a wonderful thing. I thought the surgery would interfere with my body's normal ovulation cycle, but so far, everything is still happening as it has for the last 9 months. So, I should ovulate in a few days. I have been temping just to see if I will in fact ovulate. We are out for this cycle though because we can't bd until after I have my post-op appointment and I will have ovulated by then. So, we will be back at it in March. I just pray my body stays on the same cycle and doesn't get all screwed up from the surgery. I really feel like March will be our month! I am so grateful for the little things in life!